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Friday, September 08, 2006

Life at 21

Life at 21 has a new meaning. Strangely, the entire perspective of life keeps changing as we move along. I no longer crave for those big cartons wrapped in colored papers or the festoons draping the walls, I no longer look forward to blowing the candles, or the greeting cards that follow. But somehow, I miss it all, the innocence especially. I miss the thrill of unwrapping my first Parker or the latest Hot Wheels set. I miss those forceful cuddles and hugs, as I desperately tried to get loose and explore the pile of gifts. I miss the day when I could get away with any tomfoolery, without a penalty to be paid. I miss the Paayesh that Maa used to prepare with utmost care for her darling son, or the huge cake that Baba used to bake. I miss putting the first piece of cake in my brother’s mouth, or the juvenile arguments we had over the ownership of a brand new GIJOE model gifted by someone.
Years passed, priorities changed. I now looked forward to my 16th birhday, when I would be getting my favorite pair of jean trousers or the ‘Metallica’ captioned T-shirt I had spotted in a showroom. That too was left far behind and soon, I was 18, butted into a new, unfamiliar year of my life. I was on my own now, everything at the disposal of my fancy. All shackles that had tied me down till now, lay broken. But I no longer fantasized the Parker or the T-shirt. The new life was my surprise gift. And I agreed with Bryan Adams more with each passing day.
Today I stand at the threshold of another year of my life. I turn 21 today. Perceptions have changed. Ideologies have changed. To start with there’s an ocean spread in front, and no compass to navigate. There’s no start or end, just a notion of it. As we go ahead with life, our longing to go back to the days gone by increases. Fleeting sparks of joy illuminate things momentarily, when we seem to be living the time of our lives, but soon all gets shrouded again. And that’s the case with most of us. At every step we regret the previous one; some regret it a little less, but regret is inevitable. That’s the common outlook towards life that every human has. We try to base our present on the past and the future on our present. And that has been human tradition and nature from time immemorial. Think! A more refined outlook can lead to a refreshed life. Let every rendezvous be the beginning of a new relationship, and every moment a fresh one without any consequences. Let every failure be an adventure and not a blame on life. And let every joy, however little be the reward of this new attitude towards the gift called life. I keep the faith, as I try.

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